I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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