I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
