I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my poor anus
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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