i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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