Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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