Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
