I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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