The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
