Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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