Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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