I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
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but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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