just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
