i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
