he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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