i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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