Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
