Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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