Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no, he came in my armpit
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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