my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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