he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.