ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He better not be in your backpack
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
