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• (434): View more from Virginia

  ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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• (619): View more from California

  reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy

  (1-619): View more from California

  sounds legit

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (310): View more from California

  Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.

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• (310): View more from California

  She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.

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• (559): View more from California

  so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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• (858): View more from California

  Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  gay sex achievement: unlocked

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  what

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  you told me you were going out for groceries!!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?

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• (516): View more from New York

  We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry

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