id be glad to
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins