he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
