I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
