going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
