Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
