the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
