what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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