Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
