But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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