So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
