So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
