isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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