I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
