I want to make a zoo with you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
