my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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