not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
