There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
