Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
