The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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