i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
