so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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