my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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