It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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