the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
