omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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