Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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