My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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