i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
