told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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