OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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