is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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