The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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