I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
