I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
