Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
