My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
