I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
