so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
