I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
