ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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