At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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