What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
