i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
