I must be too annoying 4 u.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We need to get me chipped asap
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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