We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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