woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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